Score more likes, share these…
Top Facebook Status Updates:
- That awkward moment when you say bye to someone and you’re still walkin the same way.
- Sometimes I cry when chopping carrots because I don’t want onions to think they’re ugly or something.
- Girls: I hangout with guys, theres less drama. Me: I hangout by myself. Theres no drama & I dont have to wear pants.
- Life on earth may be expensive, but it includes a free trip around the sun.
- My head says “go to the gym” but my heart says, “stay on the internet forever and eat!”
- “Mommy! There’s a monster under my bed!” “That’s silly. There’s no mOH GOD! IT’S TEARING MY ARM! Kidding. He only eats kids. Goodnight.”
- On average I spend $75 a year to watch bananas turn brown.
- It would be easier to keep my New Year’s resolution to accept and forgive people if they’d stop being the same jerks they were last year.
- It’s cute how you swear because you don’t have a vocabulary.
- I heard that people who talk to themselves tend to be extremely smart.. Did you know that? Yes, I did know that.
- God has no Phone but I talk to him. He has no Facebook but he is still my friend. He does not have a twitter but I still follow him.
- The hardest part about being an adult is trying to hide how you’re still a child.
- Some of you must be really tired from jumping to so many conclusions.
- The worst thing about renting movie from a Red Box is that a $1 late fee isn’t enough motivation to get off the couch.
- I just know in few years from now I’m going to see the guys from American Pickers on an episode of Hoarders.
- The best part of the birthday notifier on Facebook is, I meet people that I didn’t even know were on my friends list.
- I just spent an hour at the gym. I couldn’t find a close enough parking spot so I left.
- It’s so strange to think that before Facebook all of this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads.
- I can’t wait to tell my Grandkids, “Back when I was kid, we were smarter than our phones!”
- 69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.
- If you don’t already hate people, the mall is a great place to start.
Adorable Baby Sloth:
Too CUTE! There just isn’t enough Baby Sloth in the world today 🙂 Share this lil feller for good karma and tons of likes.
Dog Tries to Cuddle with Baby:
Dogs are awesome. This just proves it! Post to your FB Newsfeed for instant likes and funny comments.