Awesome Parents, Barking Cockatoo, and Smart Statuses

Make your weekend last longer, share these…

Smart Statuses that Score LIKEs:

• That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is “act natural, you’re innocent”. (*NEW* iPhone App: Funny Status 2  5★ Ratings)
• Seems like it’s going to be “die trying” rather than “get rich” kind of life.
• You’d think the crescent roll’s packages would have a warning like: May blow your hand off if opened correctly.
• When I die, I want My body to be thrown out of a plane wearing a Superman costume.
• I want to be rich enough to realize that I can’t buy happiness.
• When I visit a friend who greets me with “make yourself at home”, I kick him out of the house because I hate visitors.
• Unless life also hands you water and sugar, that lemonade is gonna suck.  (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page )
• I don’t need a brain.. I have a little thing called “GOOGLE”
• Saying “I’m almost there”, when you actually haven’t even left the house.
• That awkward moment when someone takes your sarcasm seriously.
• You’re a 90s kid if… you wore the light up shoes! Those were badass.
• It’s kinda funny how in 2010 and 2011 people were freaking out about 2012. Now it’s 2 months from December and no one gives a crap.
• “Bad hair day?” “Bad face day?”  (VIA Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff ) 
• Sexy is when a woman is hot enough to flaunt it but chooses not to.

Yesterdays Status Updates…

Parents Built His Halloween Costume Around His Wheelchair:

Best. Parents. Ever. Honestly, props to them for 1. exceptional costume & 2. exceptional parenting. We can all aspire to be this awesome!