Make your friends laugh this holiday weekend with these…
Funny Status Updates for Facebook:
Don’t judge a book by its movie. (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App)
- When astronauts die, the newspapers run an orbituary.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
I dream of a better tomorrow… where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.
- The key to opening a lock is… wait, I know this.
- I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. But, if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red. ツ ( “Like” our Funny Status Update Fan Page for daily Funny Status Updates)
- Dear kids, There is NO Santa Claus. Those presents are from your parents. “With love, WikiLeaks”
- The Hypochondriac’s Epitaph; “NOW do you believe me?”
- I’m sorry, DIRECT TV, I couldn’t care less if I can pause my DVR in one room and resume in another. Want to impress me? Free movie channels forever. Or send me a miniature giraffe. Either one.
Always forgive your enemies … Nothing annoys them so much.
Do someone a favor and it becomes your job.
Love is a fire. Whether it will warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.
An educational system isn’t worth a great deal if it teaches young people how to make a living but doesn’t teach them how to make a life.
- When you think you have someone eating out of your hand, count your fingers. (From our Twitter Account: @FreeFunnyStuff )
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Funny Video to Post: