More likes per status, share these…
20 Clever Facebook Statuses:
- I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.
- Your secrets are safe with me, because I probably wasn’t listening to begin with.
- If Facebook is conflicting with your real life relationships then it’s time to take a break. We need your full commitment over here.
- I’m bored, think I’ll go to the mall, find a great parking spot, sit in my car with my reverse lights on for awhile.
- I’d slap you but I’m pretty sure they would call it animal cruelty.
- I wish my phone would stop correcting ‘omg’ to ‘OMG’, I’m not that shocked.
- This woman is so impressed at my driving that she got next to me just to show me she’s not wearing a ring. Thanks hun, but wrong finger!
- Nothing says “I hate you” like giving someone’s child a drum set.
- Don’t act like you never waddled across the house to get a new roll of toilet paper with your pants around your ankles.
- Some people are like clouds. Once they bug off, it’s a beautiful day.
- I would never buy a car that runs on hemp because I have friends that run on hemp. I’m just guessing that the car would be pretty unreliable.
- It’s hard to live the dream when I keep waking up.
- At a wedding reception someone yelled: “All the married men please stand next to the person that made your life worth living” The bartender was crushed to death.
- That awkward moment when your ex is dating someone who looks just like you.
- The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock against the wall in the morning is the fact that it’s also my cellphone.
- One of my goals in life, is to never drop my phone in the toilet.
- I would punch people a lot more if it made the loud noises it did in the movies.
- For each like, I’ll take a shot on New Years…
- It must really suck to take life so seriously that you can’t enjoy it.
- Birthdays then- ‘Wow! Look at all these presents!’ Birthdays now- ‘Wow! Look at all these notifications!’
What are you doing home so early???
Surprise! Post to your Facebook for instant likes, comments, and karma.
Puppies First Christmas:
That is what is known as a heart melter. I can now die happy 🙂 TOO CUTE! Share now!