15 Status Posts That Score Likes, Guaranteed.

Step your Facebook game up with these LIKEable status posts…

  1. When girls have a great night out, they talk about it for months. When guys have a great night out, that night will never be spoken of.
  2. Not only is she out of your league, you two aren’t even playing the same sport.
  3. Are you reading this from a toilet? I’m writing this from one.
  4. If I’ve offended you, please accept my apology. Then smack yourself in the face for getting offended by something on the Internet.
  5. 2013: U mad bro? 1800: Art thou angered brethren?
  6. Whenever I show someone a picture on my phone, I assume ninja stance in case they start scrolling.
  7. Here is your New Years Resolution. All of that stupid crap you did last year? Don’t do that crap this year. Done. You’re welcome.
  8. When my life flashes before my eyes, I hope it’s not the special extended edition with all the deleted scenes I’ve blocked from my memory.
  9. “Fart” is such a crude word. I prefer “Song of the South.”
  10. Word to the wise… Don’t base your decisions on the advice of people who don’t have to deal with the results.
  11. How come when I stay in bed all day it’s “depression,” but when animals do it it’s “hibernating”?
  12. If you and your best friend don’t have at least one night in your past that you vow to never discuss, you’re not best friends.
  13. When someone finally invents a time machine, if it’s not in the form of a DeLorean I’m pretty sure everyone is going to be disappointed.
  14. I just saw a disclaimer that said “don’t try this at home”, so I tried it at my neighbors house.
  15. There are 2 kinds of people I can’t stand: Nosy people, and people who won’t tell me what in the hell is going on.

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You’ll certainly steal the spotlight by sharing one of those epic statuses 🙂 Best of luck and remember, if you delete it before anyone likes it, nobody saw it! The key is picking one that fits you and your personality.