Ah, coffee. I thought it was gross a mere 10 years ago, however, I just yesterday came to the discovery I drink at minimum a LITER of coffee every morning. Usually more. So, if anything, you could probably say I’m overqualified to write this article. A good cup of coffee is like a good meme: it makes you feel good, it brightens your day for even just a little bit, and if it’s really good, you share it with your friends… if they’re lucky.
1. Everything else has just been lucky. There’s only one thing keeping me alive.
2. Whisper your sweet nothings into my ear. I know you’re here for me.
3. Once I figure out a way to bong hot coffee, catch me on Shark Tank.
4. Ask any barista, because they will agree.
5. If you don’t look like you just ate a hot wing after your first sip, it’s not a strong enough pot of coffee.
6. A bit dated, but still a clever way to waste a cup of coffee.
7. That’s the order, and we do not deviate from the order.
8. Awaken, Princess of Caffeine. Your chariot awaits.
9. I feel this in my inner being.
10. Someday my prince will come… with two large coffees and a bagel.
12. I’ve definitely done this, and I’ve also definitely done this in front of my entire office. Oops.
13. I can hold my mouth open if you need. Also, I have a funnel in the closet. Lemme know if you need it.
14. I can drink a liter of coffee and I’ll still be yawning and stretching all day long. Yes, I’m still tired.
15. Do you think there was a Starbucks in Munchkinland?