Ice Cube Doesn’t Need a Life Vest, 20 Funny Statuses, Last One In Is...

Ice Cube Doesn't Need a Life Vest 20 Funny Statuses: The two best times to keep your mouth shut are when you’re swimming and when you’re angry. Wouldn’t it be nice if the world was flat? That...

Fall Break, 20 Funny Statuses, Ordering At Restaurants

You Have Fall Break? Here, let me ruin that for you! 20 Funny Statuses: When I go running, I usually meet new people..... like paramedics. It's ok, ghosts, no-one believes in me either. Wine doesn't have many vitamins. That's...

Bug Vacuum, 20 Funny Statuses, Ryan Reynolds Builds A Crib

Bug Vacuum Where have you been all of my life? 20 Funny Statuses: You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. Sometimes, not remembering may be better. Don't play stupid with me......

Edna Made Knows Best, 20 Funny Statuses, Jimmy Fallon’s Good Burger

Edna Made Knows Best Madonna should've listened to Edna Made! 20 Funny Statuses: If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments The quickest way to double your money is to fold it...

Trust Fall, 20 Funny Statuses, Missing: Stapler

Trust Fall! Share if you've ever had a friend trust fall on you! 20 Funny Statuses: Dear Facebook, Please stop asking me what's on my mind. I'm gonna get myself in trouble if I keep spilling my...

Andy’s Coming, 20 Funny Statuses, Kung Fu Patty Cake

Andy's Coming! Share if you want to try this! 20 Funny Statuses: Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from. The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you...

Safety First, 20 Statuses, Ellen Scares Eric Stonestreet

Safety First Safety is obviously her main concern. 20 Funny Statuses: Trying to finish a dream by going back to sleep! Looking at your best friend and laughing uncontrollably for no reason When you text someone to say you...