Life Lessons, Technology Scare, & 20 Funny Statuses


Easy LIKEs & Comments post these…

Funny Facebook Status Updates:

  1. If strippers are now called exotic dancers then drug dealers should be called exotic pharmacist. (From our ★★★★★ iPhone App ★★★★★)
  2. There’s no “I” in team, but there’s three in narcissistic and they’re all quite handsome.
  3. I was planning to take a flu shot until I found out it isn’t a kind of drink.
  4. Fools rush in… and get the best seats in the house.
  5. In dog beers…I’ve only had one.
  6. I have an amazing psychic ability to find objects just before people lose them. Unfortunately, the police call it theft.
  7. The squirrels must be gathering nuts. Three of my neighbors have disappeared.
  8. I like to walk around my house naked… Until my neighbors scream at me to go back inside.
  9. Any woman can have the body of a 21 year old… as long as she buys him a few drinks first.
  10. 6 FUNNIEST CONTRADICTING WORDS 1.Clearly misunderstood 2.Exact estimate 3.Small crowd 4.Found missing 5.Fully empty 6.Happily married (150+Likes in 11minutes – Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  11. I’m making myself sick worrying about my health.
  12. That awkward walk/run you do when a car lets you cross the road.
  13. Internet connection failed!: □ Wait patiently. ✔ Rape the refresh button.
  14. I HATE WHEN IM TEXTING while laying down, and then I drop the phone on my face.
  15. That Awkward Moment When the room is dead silent and your stomach growls.
  16. 9 year olds today have Facebook, Twitter, phones, iPods. When I was their age, I had a coloring book, crayons, chalk, and imagination.
  17. Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said the ark wasn’t leaving till 5. Sincerely, Unicorns.
  18. That annoying moment when… You spend an hour waiting for a reply And realize that your text never sent.
  19. Who else puts LOL or LMAO or ROFL knowing good and damn well your sitting there with a straight face. (VIA Twitter:@FreeFunnyStuff)
  20. There’s a bug in my computer. I believe it’s looking for a byte to eat.

Bonus Funny Quote: “Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.” — Josh Billings

Yesterdays Awesome Status Updates…

Learning Life Lessons, the hard way…

Cat Life Lessons.

Poor kitty is in for a rude surprise! Share that one with your Facebook friends and watch the interesting reactions pour in.

Afraid of Technology:


Want more great status updates, awesome pictures, and funny videos? “Like” our FB Fan PageDownload our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App. Visit our awesome Funny Status section for thousands of Facebook statuses to choose from!