Good Statuses for a Wednesday

Enhance your Wednesday by posting these enjoyable morsels of status to your FB profile and your friends walls…

Funny Status for Facebook:

  • I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. (Courtesy of our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone/iPod App)
  • I guess if I had laser hairs, I’d want them removed too.
  • It’s stupid how we spend money on clothes when naked is free.
  • Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
  • They say “You are what you eat” so I guess we should eat skinny people.
  • By the time they had diminished from 50 to eight, the other dwarves began to suspect “Hungry”.
  • I’m trying to find myself. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait.
  • I would not advise turning your frown upside down. The surgery is extremely painful and not covered by most insurance. ツ (Source: Funny Status Update Fan Page)
  • Never explain yourself. Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it.
  • Texting + Facebook = Textbook… so I’m studying, right?
  • Facebook should change ” It’s complicated ” to ” It’s confusing & stressful. “
  • No, I do not have food in my teeth; haven’t you ever heard of tooth freckles? Now go away & leave me that toothpick. Jerk.
  • I’m an adult, so I will now refer to my “tummy” as my “stomach.” That is the only adult thing I’m signing up for.
  • An Apple a day keeps Windows away.
  • What a lovely surprise to finally discover how unlonely being alone can be.
  • Don’t you hate when you forget what your about to say in mid sentence! It drives me crazy for the rest of the day!
  • The two most common things in the Universe are hydrogen, and stupidity.
  • Men are like coolers. Load them up with beer and you can take them anywhere. (VIA our Twitter: @FreeFunnyStuff )
  • A note left for a pianist from his wife: “Gone Chopin, have Liszt, Bach in a Minuet.”

Relationship Status of the Day: Don’t waste your time on someone who isn’t willing to waste their time on you.

Ironic Picture of the Day:

Well, that backfired...

Everyone can enjoy that one!

*ANDROID* APP: Funny Status Updates for Facebook Top 5 in Amazon’s new Appstore for Android

Funny Video to Post:


Post that one on a Facebook friends wall and make their day!  Or post it on your own profile and watch the funny comments and likes collect.

If you still need more funny status updates, pics, and videos to post:  “Like” our FB Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App and visit our new sister website WittyStatus where you can submit statuses and vote on them!