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Top 20 Funny Status Updates for Facebook:

  1. I’m not clumsy. It’s just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies and the wall gets in my way.
  2. If your not passionate about what you do, then there is no point of doing it at all.
  3. The worst thing about insomnia is dealing with the extra hours of reality.
  4. I hate it when, I plan a conversation in my head, but the other person doesn’t follow the script.
  5. I can’t stop drinking about you.
  6. I wish someone would invent a voice-activated refrigerator on wheels.
  7. I see flies everywhere but the second I grab the fly swatter, they turn into ninjas.
  8. Fellas, if she doesn’t kiss you by the 4th date she’s only in it for the free food.
  9. When I was little, I used to sing in the shower. Now? I make life decisions in there.
  10. The only time my karate lessons have came in handy is when I need to kick a public restroom door open.
  11. Today has been cancelled, due to lack of interest.
  12. If you leave without a reason, don’t bother coming back with an excuse.
  13. If you ever think your invention idea is stupid and won’t make money, simply remember how many people bought a Snuggie.
  14. You’d be surprised at all of the “that’s what she said” jokes you can make if you watch 5 minutes of a little kids show.
  15. Car dealerships: it doesn’t matter how many balloons you put on the cars, I’m not going to randomly decide to pull in and buy one.
  16. Our generation doesn’t knock on doors. We will call or text to let you know we’re outside.
  17. Now if you’ll excuse me, tonight’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.
  18. The longer I sit in a drive-thru, the more pennies I’m gonna pay with.
  19. Jobs are like relationships. You have them, you cry about it. You don’t have them, you cry about it.
  20. I asked the lady from the collection agency out on a date. She turned me down, but keeps calling. I told her I’m too old for games.

Yesterdays Status Updates… | Free Timeline Covers

Aladdin Exposed:

Aladdin Exposed

He just can’t wait to be king. oh, wrong movie… Prince Ali 🙂 If your friends can take a joke, then feel free to share with them.

A Car does a BACKFLIP:

Bravo, well done! It’s pretty amazing that a car doing a backflip is almost normal these days. Luckily, it’s not quite normal yet… so feel free to share this one on your Facebook for instant laughs and LIKEs galore.

Lots more status updates, funny pictures, and videos… On our Fan Page & Download our 4.5-star Rated iPhone App.