Tuesday doesn’t have to suck! Make Tuesday suck less by posting these…
Funny Statuses for Tuesday:
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said. (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App)
If flattery gets you nowhere, try bribery.
- Two wrongs don’t make a right, but they make a pretty good excuse.
- The only time the world beats a path to my door is when I’m in the bathroom.
- It’s tough to lose weight when you’re older. By then, your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
- “Want to get a drink?” “Later:” “How about now?” “Later.” “Now?” “Later.” “Now?” –If the Windows Auto Updates pop up was your friend.
- “God I wish I was riding a dinosaur right now.” – My brain, circa now.
- She was at the VMA’s covered in meat. Now she’s at the Grammys dressed as an egg. Two more red carpets and Lady Gaga will be a Denny’s Grand Slam. ツ ( VIA our Funny Status Update Fan Page)
- I nicknamed my urethra, Franklin.
Even Popeye didn’t eat his spinach until he absolutely had to.
If you are given two contradictory orders, obey them both.
- You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg. (VIA our Twitter Account: @FreeFunnyStuff )
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Funny Picture to Post:
Funny Video to Post:
OK, that guy might be a Robot for real.
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