When People Argue On Social Networks…

when people argue over social networks

Get the popcorn… this is going to be a good one!

20 Funny Statuses:

  1. I’d like to give a big shout-out to all my hard of hearing friends!
  2. If you’re an astronaut, and you don’t end a relationship with “look, I just need space..” then your wasting everyones time.
  3. I’m more confused than a valet parking attendant at a Mary Kay convention.
  4. Whoever said “What goes around, comes around”, never passed around a bag of Doritos………………….
  5. You know that confused look that old people get when looking at new technology? I’m like that, but with salad.
  6. My parents never allowed violent video games. Just family-friendly board games with questions like, “Who murdered this guy with a pipe?”
  7. You know you’re getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.
  8. If we’re in a situation where I am the “voice of reason,” then we are in a very very bad situation.
  9. People who cook Hot Pockets in the oven, Where are you getting all this free time?
  10. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.
  11. Whenever I see people lined up outside a club on Friday night, I just think “look at all these poor people who don’t know Netflix exists.”
  12. “Teeter Totter” is the silliest name for toddler catapults.
  13. I would like to give thanks to the brave men and women who died a long time ago tasting which plants were edible and which plants were not.
  14. I just wish the automatic paper towel dispensers were half as sensitive as the automatic flushers.
  15. I really like compliments but I don’t want anyone talking to me…
  16. If you watched a person cut a piece of wood, would that be sawed or seen?
  17. Google maps should have a “Scenic!” route option for when we’re not in a hurry and just want to enjoy the ride.
  18. To get laid is good. To get off is good. To get laid off is bad.
  19. Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn’t make the cut.
  20. I’m pretty sure putting time limits on when breakfast is served is unconstitutional.

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