Facebook Status Updates

How Much Horse Power? So much horse power it doesn't all fit under the hood 20 Funny Statuses: Why is it called "reading a book" and not paper view? I just saw a guy take a bite of...

Life Is Short... Mind Blown... 20 Funny Statuses: It’s 2015, why cant you unselect a floor in an elevator yet? You know you are old when your parties have glasses instead of red plastic cups. I always scratch off...

Jack Daniel's - A Man's Band-Aid 20 Funny Statuses: If I lean to the left. I am not trying to whisper in your ear. I'm married. I'm gonna fart. As an adult, I’m not eating nearly as...

No One Hides From The Boss Waldo better watch his back... 20 Funny Statuses: Look up procrastinator on Wikipedia. There’s a picture of me. Well there isn’t yet, but there will be. Probably by tomorrow. Maybe Tuesday. I...

Babies Are Too STINKIN' Cute 20 Funny Statuses: I hope manners is the next cool trend. I'm on this great new diet where I spend all my grocery money on strippers. I can not be held responsible for...

Disney's Rules Try it out! See how it works for you.. 20 Funny Statuses: I always like seeing those "Baby on Board" stickers because it's nice to see agreeable babies out there. I'll call it a smartphone the...

Ice Cube Doesn't Need a Life Vest 20 Funny Statuses: The two best times to keep your mouth shut are when you’re swimming and when you’re angry. Wouldn’t it be nice if the world was flat? That...

You Have Fall Break? Here, let me ruin that for you! 20 Funny Statuses: When I go running, I usually meet new people..... like paramedics. It's ok, ghosts, no-one believes in me either. Wine doesn't have many vitamins. That's...