Ice Cube Doesn’t Need a Life Vest
20 Funny Statuses:
- The two best times to keep your mouth shut are when you’re swimming and when you’re angry.
- Wouldn’t it be nice if the world was flat? That way we could just push off the people we don’t like.
- I stay up late every night and realize it’s a bad idea every morning.
- A baby-sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.
- During a test, people look up for inspiration, down in desperation, and left and right for information.
- If you are one in a million, there are six thousand people just like you.
- Wonder What Happen’s When Doctor’s Wife Eats An Apple A Day.
- AwesoME ends with ME and Ugly starts with U.
- The only time success comes before work is in the dictionary.
- I dance like people wish they weren’t watching.
- Diet goal: I want to lose just enough so that my hand will fit comfortably in a Pringles can…
- I never said “you were stupid” I said “you are stupid”, there’s nothing past tense about it!
- And Jesus said, those footprints on the beach where two sets become one, that’s where I unfollowed you.
- Would you be a deer and run out in front of my car for me?
- My workout plan really only consists of me wandering around in parking lots because I forgot where I parked…
- I never thought I’d be the kind of person who’d wake up early in the morning to exercise … And I was right.
- I love how music can take you to another place. For example One Direction is playing in this cafe so now I’m going to a different cafe.
- To be truthful,,, I have never unrolled a sleeping bag and been able to roll it back up any smaller than the size of a garage.
- Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance… The five stages of waking up.
- There’s really no telling how successful I could have been if the internet hadn’t been invented…
Last One In Is A Rotten Egg!
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